Pesadilla

Esta noche tuve una pesadilla. Fue uno de los peores sueños de mi vida. Desperté sintiéndome impotente y hasta sintiéndome mal físicamente. Fue horrible.

Ganas.

Tengo tantas cosas que quiero decirte. Tantos abrazos, besos y cariño que quiero darte. Y así mismo, tanto miedo de hacerlo, de incomodarte más y de molestarte.

Lugar.

Lo que me preocupa es que en la situación en que estás alguien mas llegué a tu vida y ocupe mi lugar sin que me de cuenta.

3 o'clock.

It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I'm lying in bed, thinking about how my actions could have ruined the best thing in my life. Thinking about how I say I love you and you won't answer back. Thinking about how I hurt you, how I disappointed you, how you can't look me in the eye. Thinking about how to let go, if I should do so. Thinking about not giving up, about winning you back. Thinking about how I want you to be happy, even though that may mean trading my happiness for yours.

Home.

I wanna go home, please.

Solo tu.

Puedo hablar con muchas personas, sin estar realmente sola. Pero me siento perdida sin ti, nadie puede hacerme sentir como tu - nunca tan calmada, tan contenta.

Sin ti.

Siento que contigo era mejor persona. Sin ti, soy impaciente y grosera, demandante y egoísta.

Dream.

I dreamt about you. We were us and we were happy.

Sleep.

I woke up missing you dearly. I hope you're enjoying yourself and have a safe trip.

Sometimes.

Sometimes, I miss you. Like, really really miss you. I wonder if we'll be okay soon.

El amor.

El amor es paciente, es bondadoso. El amor no es envidioso ni jactancioso ni orgulloso. No se comporta con rudeza, no es egoísta, no se enoja fácilmente, no guarda rencor. El amor no se deleita en la maldad sino que se regocija con la verdad. Todo lo disculpa, todo lo cree, todo lo espera, todo lo soporta.

1 Corintios 13: 4-7

Unforgettable love.

The thing is you're unforgettable, at least to me. There's no way I'll ever forget those dazzling eyes or that broad smile, your big arms which could so safely embrace me or your wild hair, which rebelled more and more as it grew longer, your sweet, sweet smell which filled me up and drunked me as a fine liquor, your silly jokes on almost evey topic, your sense of duty and responsability, your manliness which to me was the pure definition of it, your touch, as soft as a feather floating in the breeze, and your voice, a tender melody to my ears. Because of this and an innumerable amount of other reasons is why you are unforgettable to me. Knowing you has been one of my life's greatest blessings. I am so inmensely glad that I got to love you; that was one of the wonderful times of my life.

You are and will always be the love of my life. And that simple fact never fails to cheer me up.

Lost.

I feel lost without you. I guess I deserve such suffering in a way; it's the result for my actions. I just wish we could talk, to sort things out. There's nothing more I can do but to accept your choices as well as to understand them. I mean, after all, it was me who lead you to such thinking.

Still, it frightens me. I don't know if this void, not knowing, will end soon or if it's outcome will be something I can handle. I can't do anything else, in fear of screwing it up again, as usual. I think, what saddens me the most is knowing I hurt you to such a degree that I made you act this way.

I just hope, that no matter what happens,you find peace and happiness once again. Because, as I've always said, you are my one true love and your happiness is mine as well. You are the one I'll never forget, I can guarantee that.

And, that if you ever need, I'll always be here, waiting with open arms, just as I promised I'd be.