Little pieces.

"You could break my heart into
tiny
little
pieces,
and I'd still pick them up
and put them back in your hands."

Aún ahora.

Aún ahora, tan alejados como estamos, pensar en ti, si bien me entristece, también me calma.

Escuchar la canción que me cantabas al llorar, me hace sonreír.

Aún te amo. No dejaré de hacerlo.

Holding hands.

I know you mean to help. I also know you get frustrated. Why wouldn't you? I run to you everyday and whimper about my problems. You are always there and always listen, giving advice from your own experience. I get it all, but my feelings won't change. It is not that I like the pain. It is not I don't understand.

I know you mean to see me happy, and that I don't help that much. But I'd like to thank you for your time, you help go through this harsh times.

When you get tired and bored of nagging and more, tell me. I won't be mad, I'll thank you instead. I know it takes time, and I'm no patient person, but thank you for sticking by my side.

I've known you for over a year now, and you've really become a great friend of mine.

Strange dream.

I  had a weird dream last night.

I had learnt to drive. I was driving my mother and grandmother to the grocery store. My car was a bluish light color and small in size. There was a lot of queue to park. I finally found a spot, the last one. We got out of the car and they entered the store.

The background changed. Now, a dark city in chaos enveloped me.

I was running away. From what? I did not know. I could see others running past me. I was slow. I heard a familiar voice, turned my gaze towards it and it was John. He was't alone; there were others I knew by his side. I sprinted towards him, when suddenly a machine-alien monster grabbed me from behind and lifted my small figure around 5 meters from the ground.

I screamed. I screamed my guts out. Its mechanical eyes stared at me and emanated light which blinded me. I felt puncturing in my chest, some kind of injection, and suddenly everything went blank. When I came back to my senses, John was holding me. The look of worry in his face had marked wrinkles around his eyes. My eyes, heavy and dull, could not see past him, but I could hear whispering and mumbling around us. I blacked out again.

When I woke up, it seemed as if a long time had passed, though in reality my sleep was only a few hours long. I was sore. Struggling, I stood up. We were in a building, hiding, living in the dark. My head was spinning and I lost my balance, falling. I hit my stomach, so I pulled a hand to rub it and noticed it.

Was I ... pregnant? But, how? From then on, the foreing creature in my body begun moving. It was wretching. As I had learnt later on, it was a sort of parasite the mechanical creature had embedded in my body, feeding from me it grew and developed.

There were eleven people in total with John. They had rescued me after the monster had left me down when injecting me. We were hiding from them - the dark creatures where searching for me. But we couldn't stay there any longer, so we left. We run for days. Thankfully, we found a seemingly old theather. We headed towards it, and ... something went wrong. I'm .. not sure what, but ... they came in groups. There were too many of them, so we run. Not all of us made it. We lost them. They protected me.

We reached the doors and jumped inside. The remaining of them closed the big doors with everything they could find. We could hear them outside, trying to break in. We hid under the rows of chairs. A girl who accompanied us did not hide. She began speaking strangely. She was one of them. She had to be. But, she had helped us so much, how? We snatched her away and hid again in the bathrooms. We had to know. John grabbed a knife from his thigh and threathened the ''girl''.

''She has to go to the colony,'' she whispered, looking at me.
Colony. My head ached. Colony. The alien in me moved. Colony.

''No,'' I said. ''No!'' I grabbed her and pushed her into the wall. ''I know. I know. IT knows. I will NOT go there!'' I looked at her eyes and I could see the eyes of the creature who had stung me. ''You helped us, why turn on us now?!''

It blinked. ''I had to. I wanted to keep it to myself, but I had to!'' It yelled.

It wants it. She wants it.

''Stay with us, help us. And it will be yours,'' I said. ''You can have it, you can have it.''
Its eyes widened, and I could see it would say yes.

''But you have to help us get away, or I'll kill it.'' I snatched John's knife and pointed it towards my belly.

''You'll die,'' it grinned.

I inched the knife closer. ''They need it alive, not me. It.'' An inch closer.

Its smiled faded. ''Mine?''

''Your own colony,'' I responded.

And the girl smiled back.

I woke up.

Time together.

Things have really changed! I feel as though I've grown and matured. I'm not as clingy as I was and now I feel like I treasure our time together more, too. We spend it more constructively, I believe. And that's good. I like us talking and watching movies, eating and playing, snuggling and why not? Kissing is always welcomed.

..

Siempre me desespero y frustro. Soy muy impaciente. Termino enojada por cosas sin sentido y ni veo que en realidad tengo lo mas importante justo a mi lado. ¡Lo amo!

Sometimes

Sometimes I think you'd be happier without me. I always manage to ruin things, my good is never good enough. You deserve better. And it's killing me knowing it's my fault.

Talk.

I'd like to talk to you.
To go out and walk
And just talk
The way we used to.
I'd like to talk to you.
To listen to what you have to say
And to be heard, too.
I'd like to talk to you.
There's nothing more I want
Than to see you,
To hug you, kiss you,
And ask you about your day.
And to talk to you
Until the day ends.

I really wish we could spend more time together. We don't just sit and chat anymore, and I really miss that about us.

Decide.

I looked down at her. Her broad smile had fainted away and a disappointed, defeated look took hold of her once bright face.

Could I keep on doing this? Who was I to make her suffer this much? I promised I would change, and I had been changing. I was doing well, but then something happened. I don't know what.

And that ruined me. It ruined me. It pained so much to see her break apart, but I couldn't leave her. I couldn't bring myself to walk away. I loved her. I still do. I probably always do so.

But her face, oh her face whenever I failed ... It broke my heart over and over again. She tries so hard to stay and to be good. I try to, but I can't seem to work. It's been months and months of second chances, and after a great start I just crawl back to where she hates it.

Why can't I be the man she wants, the man she deserves? I love her. She deserves to be happy, all the time. Not just once in a while, when I'm at my best. Not just pretending to be okay when being with me.

She deserves happy. I can't let her go. What should I do? I need to change.

Creí que seria divertido contarte.

Creí que sería divertido contarte.

Últimamente hemos estado ocupados. Tu mas que nada. Y no hay problema, se que así es y sera por mucho tiempo, así que trato de soportarlo lo más que pueda sin sentirnos mal.

Aunque sí me entristece. Hay tantas cosas que me gustaría hacer contigo o contarte, ya que hasta hablar se nos dificulta. Lo triste de esto es que muchas veces, si llego emocionada a contarte algo, tu lo tratas como cualquier otra cosa, o al menos, así lo siento yo.

Me gustaría sentir mas entusiasmo de tu parte. Se que lo que yo hago no es interesante, pero me gustaría que me escuchaces con el mismo interés y apoyo que con el que yo trato de demostrar por ti.

Se que a veces es bastante cansado lidiar conmigo, no tengo la mejor personalidad que digamos. Sólo que sí hay cosas que me gustaría sentir, que quizás si están ahí pero simplemente no siento.

No se si eso pase, espero que si. Yo seguiré tratando de ser buena y apoyarte en todo. Buenas noches, descansa, amor.

Razones

Estas son algunas de las razones por las que te amo, solo algunas, porque cada dia descubro mas.

Tu sonrisa - Esa amplia sonrisa que gano mi corazon, y lo continua haciendo, desde el primer dia.
Tu voz - Tan fuerte, tan familiar. Como musica para mis oidos.
Tu abrazo - No hay lugar mas seguro que entre tus brazos.
Tu risa - Tan sincera, tan tu. No miente, jamas lo ha hecho.
Tus ojos - Tienen un lenguaje propio, son tan expresivos como tu cara.
Tu olor - A hogar, a donde pertenezco. Amo estar tan cerca tuyo.
Tu cabello - Rebelde, despeinado. Libre y sobre todo, suave.
Tus manos - Perfectas, cada linea y cada marca. Del tamaño perfecto.
Tu amor por el root beer - ¿Cuantos buenos momentos hemos pasado tomando eso? ¡Gracias!
Tu gusto por la adrenalina - He hecho cosas que jamas habria pensado, no me arrepiento de nada.
Tu curiosidad - Quizas no tienes la de un gato, pero eres un gran compañero de misterios.
Tus palabras - No siempre las mejores, y a veces las peores, pero sinceras.
Tus sueños - Grandes, dificiles, pero nunca imposibles. Siempre te apoyare.
Tus miedos - Comparto algunos. A pesar de ellos, eres fuerte.
Tus regaños - Necesarios en ocasiones, aunque no lo comprenda.
Tus actitudes - Siempre tan optimista, no te dejas vencer.
Tus gusto excentricos - De nuevo, gracias a ti aprendo a amar lo nuevo y diferente
Tus caras - Siempre me haces reir, aun cuando haces pucheros
Tus celos - A veces exagerados, me hacen sentir querida
Tus gustos raros - ¡Me encantan!
Tu sentido del humor - Poco a poco, amplias el mio
Tus acciones - Expresan mas de lo que crees
Tu gusto por los deportes - Gracias a ti, he conocido el waterpolo, ¡y tengo que admitir que me fascina!
Tu perseverancia - Para ti, querer es poder. Lo admiro.
Tu flojera - No lo mejor, pero gracias a eso haces las cosas mas faciles
Tu astucia - Siempre encontraras la manera, y lo haras mejor de lo que hubieramos creido
Tu gusto por Naruto - ¡Amor verlo contigo! Se ha vuelto en una tradicion nuestra
Y por otras series mas - ¿Que seria de nosotros sin fma o sao?
Tu sinceridad - Dices lo que sientes, no mientes. Se que puedo confiar en ti.
Tus berrinches - Tan tiernos, ¿como decirte que no?
Tus besos - La cosa mas deliciosa en todo el mundo. Como si fuera el primero cada vez.
Tus brazos - ¿Por que me gustan tanto? No tengo ni la mas minima idea
Tus ideas - Siempre divertidas, y usualmente las mejores y correctas
Como piensas en mi - Aun si no lo veo, se que piensas en mi seguido
Como te preocupas por mi, como me cuidas - Aun que a veces yo no quiera
Como te gusta mi comida - ¡Aun los experimentos raros!
Como me preparas sorpresas - Aun si yo no lo hago por ti, ... ¡Lo siento!
Como me ayudas - Si te necesito, se que cuento contigo
Como aceptas ver peliculas romanticas conmigo - Se que te aburren, pero aun lo haces. ¡Gracias!
Como te averguenzas si yo pago por algo - Lo hare siempre, ¡te ves tan lindo! Y quiero ayudar
Como te emocionas - Puedo emocionarme yo solo de verte a ti
Como te molestas - Dependiendo del por que, eres lindo. A veces da miedito, pero pasa y te amo asi.
Como me haces sentir segura - Puedo tener miedo, pero se que contigo no hay de que temer.
Tus sueños extraños - Siempre estare para escucharte y hablar contigo

Te amo por que eres tu. Con todo e imperfecciones. Simplemente tu.

Distance means nothing.

''Distance means nothing when someone means everything.''

It's hard, being apart for so long.
There's just so much going on.

I get frustrated,

more than I had anticipated.

I feel sad, mad,

why do you have to be so far?

I start feeling insecure, scared,

Where are you when I need you there?

I feel left alone,

like I'd always be on my own.

But there you are.

You light up my days.

You keep my nights bright.

Useless feelings go away;

no more being mad nor sad,

why get frustrated if, look, there you are.

Because you're not around that much,

I enjoy every second even more.

Every word, every sound, every image;

I save them deeply in my heart -

My love growing as time passes by.

And no quantity of time or length

will ever stop my beating heart.

No matter how long I must wait,

nor how lone I feel, nor how hurt,

nor how anguished.

I made a promise, I'll love you.

From now and on.

Because distance means nothing, when you mean everything.

Over a year.

It has been over a year, almost a year and three months, since it became ''us''. Over a year of loving, sad, funny, serious, stupid, mad, amazing, new, confusing, weird, scary, perfect moments. Over a year of ''I love you's''.

In that year, a lot has happened. I won't deny it's been hard, but any hardship is worth going through if that means we'll be happy together. There have been times in which I lost track of were I was going; times in which I thought best for each to go our separate ways, despite my love for you only growing.

But I've realized, those thoughts are uncalled for. We've gotten through so much, achieved so much. We owe ourselves and our love, though young, to see the true beauty in it. To keep on working, if we still want it.

And truth is, despite as hard as it has gotten and will surely get, I still believe, with every fiber of my being, that it is worth it.

I will still trip on the road and make mistakes at times, but I'll never stop trying to be better. We're in this together, and I promise, I'll make it worth it, too.