Decide.

I looked down at her. Her broad smile had fainted away and a disappointed, defeated look took hold of her once bright face.

Could I keep on doing this? Who was I to make her suffer this much? I promised I would change, and I had been changing. I was doing well, but then something happened. I don't know what.

And that ruined me. It ruined me. It pained so much to see her break apart, but I couldn't leave her. I couldn't bring myself to walk away. I loved her. I still do. I probably always do so.

But her face, oh her face whenever I failed ... It broke my heart over and over again. She tries so hard to stay and to be good. I try to, but I can't seem to work. It's been months and months of second chances, and after a great start I just crawl back to where she hates it.

Why can't I be the man she wants, the man she deserves? I love her. She deserves to be happy, all the time. Not just once in a while, when I'm at my best. Not just pretending to be okay when being with me.

She deserves happy. I can't let her go. What should I do? I need to change.