Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Si te vas a enamorar de mi.

"Si te vas a enamorar de mí, tienes que saber de lo que te estás enamorando, y es justo que lo hagas. Te estás enamorando de mis inseguridades, mis complejos, y mi obsesión por saber lo que todos piensan de mí, te estás enamorando de mis peleas, de mis dichos, y de mis Locuras. Te estás enamorando de mi inmadurez, mi constante necesidad de sentirme amada, y apreciada, mis lágrimas que salen solas, mi tendencia a ser una desordenada, y a veces maniática con mis libros. Te estás enamorando de mi problemático pasado, de mis esperanzas, mis ilusiones, y mis sueños. Soy una chica sin esperanza sobre lo romántico en mi corazón, y espero que puedas cambiarlo. Si te enamoras de mí, te enamoras de mi odio a mi persona a veces, de mis imperfecciones, y de mi percepción de que nadie podría amarme. Pero también, te estás enamorando de la forma en que mis ojos brillan cuando están contigo, la forma en que mi sonrisa se ensancha cuando te veo, mis mensajes deseándote buenos días/noches. Te estás enamorando de una persona que casi siempre tiene chistes que contar, por muy malos que sean. Que a todo le saca un lado bueno, o sólo un lado, y que acompaña a todo con una canción, te estás enamorando de la manera en que me sonrojo, y demás cuándo la gente me pregunta sobre ti. Pero para mí, lo mas importante, es que te estás enamorando de mí, cosa que nunca pensé que nadie haría."

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Grow old with you.

I love you, I really do.
And I want to spend my life with you, I'm willing to.
I know I'm young. And may seem naive.
But despite what everyone says I still believe
that this love is real and everlasting,
and will always be breath-grasping.

I long to sleep by your side,
to hold you tight in the night.
To be the first thing you see when you awake,
and be the one who your breakfast makes.

We've been together for only a little while,
and talk of future always makes me smile.
The ''I want to grow old with you''
And ''I'll never leave your side, I'll never let you go''
They brighten my day.
They make me glad about today.

There are many things I want to do with you.
I want to hug you. And kiss you. And hold you.
But most of all,
I want to grow old with you. 

Friday, July 26, 2013

A Frantic Lovers Words.

We are not defined by skype or video calls
or texts messages or distance
and I won't let those things change us.
I miss you like hell
and I love you like heaven
but that doesn't change the fact that
this gets fucking difficult
or the fact that I get mad over nothing.
I know we are different and I know
this is worth it.
I know we seem crazy, insane , even unrealistic.
But I don't care.
I love you I love you I love you.
It's worth it because I know that someday
you will find the birthmarks that cover my torso and the scars
that cover my hips
and I will find out the way your spine curves and how your
voice sounds when you get out of the shower
and the way your lips part.
These frantic wishes fill me up
and swallow me whole.
My love for you saves me and sinks me
but when I'm down at the bottom, I find you
have not left me.
Despite the number of texts we send in a day or the
number of times I hear your voice
I will love you.
I will love you more than I hate the miles.
m.h.

[I remember reading this over and over again when you were gone. But now you are back. And now I'm all smiles. Thank you!]

Kisses.

Hand kisses. First kisses.
Cheek kisses. Second kisses.
Nose kisses. Hundredth kisses.
Forehead kisses. Car kisses.
Neck kisses. Summer kisses.
Shoulder kisses. Snowy kisses.
Collarbone kisses. Hot kisses.
Back kisses. Cold kisses.
Stomach kisses. Playful kisses.
Hipbone kisses. Sensual kisses.
Sad kisses. Public kisses.
Happy kisses. Private kisses.
Sweet kisses. Jealous kisses.
Angry kisses. Keep me kisses.
Good morning kisses. For now kisses.
Good night kisses. Forever kisses.
Hello kisses. Lazy kisses.
Goodbye kisses. Empty kisses.
I miss you kisses. Nervous kisses.
I love you kisses. Quick kisses.
I want you kisses. Long kisses.
I need you kisses. French kisses.
Rain kisses. Kisses in the light.
Beach kisses. Kisses in the dark.
Sunset kisses. Kisses that touch your lips.
Sunrise kisses. Kisses that touch your heart.
Party kisses. Your kisses.
Cuddle kisses. Kisses.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I want to ...

I want to wear your sweatshirt to bed, 
watch scary movies with you,
talk on the phone until sunrise,
sneak out at night to look at the stars with you,
play your favorite videogame,
make you watch chick flicks,
kiss you in the rain, go on walks with you,
laugh until I can't breath, hold hands.
I want to fall hopelessly in love with you.

I have, indeed, fallen hopelessly in love with you.
I love you!

El amor de tu vida.

"El amor de tu vida no es tu mejor
amigo, el chico más guapo, al que has
admirado en secreto o con quién
pasas día a día... El amor de tu vida es
aquel que cuando llega cambia todo
tu mundo y te das cuenta que sin
conocerlo bien él es el indicado,
basto con una sonrisa, una mirada, un
gesto y supiste que él es con quién
quieres estar."

¿Ves? ... solo una sonrisa tuya.

 {This couldn't be more true.}

I am in love with you.

I am in love with your smile
I am in love with your voice
I am in love with your body
I am in love with your laugh
I am in love with your eyes
I am in love with you.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Cozy, little room.

Do I have to leave my cozy, little room?
Do I have to suffer heat instead
of being able to stay cuddled in my bed?

Do I have to leave my cozy, little room?
Do I have to face the things
I so long to run from?

Do I have to leave my cozy, little room?
Do I have get dressed and look well
for a bunch of people who don't really care?

I indeed have to leave my cozy, little room.
For I realized that ever since you left,
it's cozy no more.

I indeed have to leave my cozy, little room.
For I need and want to go after you.
For I need you, too.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

To the moon and back.

I think about you as many times as there are stars in the sky.

My world revolves around you. You're my sun.

I wish for you with every shooting star.

Without you, it's terribly cold.
So I just wish for your warm embrace.

I love you to the moon and back.
Remember?

In a year.

A lot can happen in a year.
A lot has happened in a year.
I fell in love.
And made new friends.
I learned new things.
And understood others.
I forgot things.
And remembered them.
I accomplished many things.
And failed on others.
I made mistakes.
And apologized  for them.
I regreted things.
I felt happy.
And sad.
And confused.
And peaceful.
And bored.
And crazy.
My perception changed.
My ideas did so, too.
I changed.
People around me did as well.

And I wouldn't have done anything differently.

One more week.

One more week.
I just have to endure missing you for one more week.
It seems easy but is so terribly hard.
I just wish I could be next to you.
I miss you.
But then again, it's just one more week.
I'll be strong.
I promised I would be.
So, one more week of faint smiles and reminiscing.
That's it.
I'll just keep on waiting, as I always have.
'Cause that's what I want to do.
Because, if it's not you, then it's not worth it.
I love you.
And I'm waiting for you, so you better hurry, darling!

Monday, July 15, 2013

Dear best friend.

Dear best friend,
     Thank you for the laughter, for the tears, for the sleepless nights, for all those endless talks, for all those silly things we did, for always sharing what you loved with me and making me love the world. I've known you since I was little, seven if I remember well. And there was not a time when you weren't by my side. If my cat ran away, we'd go hand in hand looking for it. When we couldn't find it, you'd dry my tears and comfort me. When we did, you'd skip around in joy, sighing gladly and giggling with me.
     I remember us buliding forts out of bed sheets and chairs, surrounding the TV, so we'd have our very own cinema. We'd lay on the floor with our bowls of popcorn and we'd watch a movie. We'd talk about anything - you've always been my confident. It was you who I talked to about boys and girly stuff. It was with you when I discovered makeup and tried it on. Remember all those colorful mascaras we used to wear?
     I remember us growing up. When we were little girls, with no notion of gender barriers, we'd play with my older brothers and their friends. We'd run around or  ride our bikes or skate a bit or play tag or football or soccer or videogames. It just all seems easier back then ... Then, we switched from sports to dolls. I can still recall all the plays and novelas and soap operas we'd make with our dolls. Remember Teddy and Teresa? I still have 'em. We sure were growing up, 'cause we'd even make love scenes and make them kiss. We were so childish. Then, we went from dolls to makeup. We were what, twelve? It all seems so long ago ...
    Then, boy troubles began. Luckily for me, I'd never actually fallen for a guy. My crushes were just the result of boredom and thus, ended quickly. But you, oh poor darling, you fell so hard and so fast at such a young age. I still remember all those days we spent thinking and talking about him (well, I was just listening and agreeing, but still). And, oh, you were so jealous at times, I remember. We'd fight over nothing. I kinda understood your point of view, but we were stubborn and childish and immature. Nonetheless, when things went wrong, we'd always be there for each other.
    Now that I finally know love, I get how you feel. It's such a wonderful emotion. I still think you're a bit too jealous, though.
   After so many years and so many things, we're still as close as we've always been. Thank you for never leaving my side and for always being understanding and caring as you are. I love you as a sister, as a part of me. And even though I know we've changed, that bond that ties us together never will. We'll overcome things just like we've done up until now.
    After all, we have already promised to be each other's maid of honors and aunties for our children, haven't we?
                                                                                                                                   I love you.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

You do everything at once.

you do everything at once,
you drive me crazy,
you turn me on,
you calm me down,
you make me speechless,
you make me laugh,
you make me blush,
sometimes
you make my heartbeat
the fastest thing in the planet
and other times it just feels
like it stopped beating for you,
you make me passionate,
excited,
sensual,
feeling
and most of all
you make me feel
so alive and happy
and you are the strongest
breathtaking drug i have ever taken

Friday, July 12, 2013

I love when ...

When we end up saying the same things, using the exact same words  ♥ 
''Just 'cause you're not in love. That's why. You'll get it someday.''

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Une Petite Journée À Paris

Lately, I've been thinking about traveling, and my number one destination is Paris, the ''city of love''. I wish to be able to just pack some clothes, get on a plane, and go there. To be able to visit the country side. And to just get to see dainty, sweet things. Or to eat macarons and drink coffee at sunrise in a terrace. It'd be lovely, wouldn't it?

                A cute little French mix, to make you feel  like frolicking around Paris and eating macarons. ♥
http://8tracks.com/framboises/une-petite-journee-a-paris

PS. I also love listening to Au Revoir Simone.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Nostalgia

This is killing me.
When did I grow so dependent on you?
It really feels as if you are the oxygen in my life, and without you I can’t breathe.
It’s suffocating how much I need you.
I love you so much.
I’ve grown so used to talking to you all the time.
I’ve become spoiled.
I hate this uselessness I feel when I’m not with you.
 I just … I miss you terribly.
I need you.
I love you.
I miss you.
But I just … I just can’t ask you that.
I can’t ask you to be with me every second.
To never leave my side.
‘Cause I don’t wanna tie you down.
I know you should be free.
You already are, and you seem so happy.
I don’t wanna be the one sending that happiness away.
So for your sake, and mine, I’ll bottle up these feelings.
It won’t be easy.
It’ll probably do me harm.
But it’s the best, I think.
I shouldn’t even feel this way.
I should be fine.
But I’m not.
I guess I’m too much in love.
Too dependent.
I suppose I should try and keep myself busy.
A long, relaxing bath should do.
... That’s the thing.
They always ‘’should’’
But what if, just what if,
they don’t? …


{I wrote this a few days ago. Things have changed since. But still ... I thought I should just let it out.}

''It's raining.''

''It’s raining. A lot. I think pouring would be a better word to use in this case. But, thank god, there are almost no thunders or lightning. Just some good old’ healthy rain. … Forget what I just said. I hate thunder. I just do. I know you do, too. And I imagine how funny it would be, to be together during a thunderstorm – both of us trying to look cool and strong but actually dying inside.''

Boyfriend's off traveling.

      It's been about two weeks since I last saw him. He's off on a cruise 'round Europe. Cool, right? So, yeah. He's very far away. And I miss him terribly. We've talked quite often through social media sites such as Facebook and Skype, but, lately, I'm afraid every ''goodbye'' might be the last one. And it's very stressing not knowing about him. Every second of the day I wonder ''Is he alright? Does he get enough sleep? Is he eating properly? Is he having fun?'' Those sort of thoughts fill my day.
     That's literally my day - I wake up, thinking about him. {I usually dream of him, of us. They're nice dreams.  Though I dislike them sometimes because they remind me of how much I miss him, but can't be near to him.} I manage to get by the morning, as I try to entertain myself doing other things, whether those are listening to music, drawing, writing, playing videogames, cooking, or something of the sort. Then, we somehow get the opportunity to talk. That's the moment I love the most of my days - when I get to talk to him. It's even better when we get to Skype and I can see him and hear his voice. But then, he has to leave. So I reluctantly smile and say goodbye, afraid that I won't be able to tell him '' I love you'' until he comes back. Just like that, he's gone. And I'm left alone.
     I feel lost without him. Once he's gone, I don't know what to do. All  I do, seriously, is wait for him to get back. Again, I try to do something to get my mind off of him, but fail miserably. Then night comes, and that's when I feel the most nostalgic. At times, my eyes get watery for no reason and I want to cry. I don't though, 'cause I think I ought to be strong for him and for myself.
    I just .... I miss him terribly. And wish he could just come back soon ...

Day 1.

'Kay. This is ... new. I suppose it'll be nice to just write whatever I want. I mean, I do now, but it seems this way it's more open. You know what, just forget what I just said. Let's start over.

Hi. So, yeah. I'll be doing this journal sort of thing, just writing about things that come to my mind. I don't really tell people around me my issues; I kinda just write them down and let them be, so I guess this will be good. That's about it for now.

Uhm ... farewell.