Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Nostalgia

This is killing me.
When did I grow so dependent on you?
It really feels as if you are the oxygen in my life, and without you I can’t breathe.
It’s suffocating how much I need you.
I love you so much.
I’ve grown so used to talking to you all the time.
I’ve become spoiled.
I hate this uselessness I feel when I’m not with you.
 I just … I miss you terribly.
I need you.
I love you.
I miss you.
But I just … I just can’t ask you that.
I can’t ask you to be with me every second.
To never leave my side.
‘Cause I don’t wanna tie you down.
I know you should be free.
You already are, and you seem so happy.
I don’t wanna be the one sending that happiness away.
So for your sake, and mine, I’ll bottle up these feelings.
It won’t be easy.
It’ll probably do me harm.
But it’s the best, I think.
I shouldn’t even feel this way.
I should be fine.
But I’m not.
I guess I’m too much in love.
Too dependent.
I suppose I should try and keep myself busy.
A long, relaxing bath should do.
... That’s the thing.
They always ‘’should’’
But what if, just what if,
they don’t? …


{I wrote this a few days ago. Things have changed since. But still ... I thought I should just let it out.}

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